Heart Expanding Practice for Difficult Times
I had the great fortune of attending the great Pema Chodron’s final address at Omega over Memorial Day Weekend.
I had signed up for this retreat nearly a year ago. I didn’t know then it would be her final address, or how badly I would need her message. She devoted the entire weekend to teaching one of her signature teachings, Tonglen, a Tibetan Buddhist meditation for radical compassion. Tonglen is known as “giving and taking or sending and receiving.” On the inhale, you take in the pain and suffering of yourself and others, and on the exhale you give space, compassion and healing to yourself and others.
Five hundred of us (including our beloved member Kim Thai!) practiced Friday evening, Saturday morning, and afternoon, Sunday morning under stormy skies. We breathed in the pain we were aware of and breathed out love and compassion and space, as torrential rain plummeted the tent.
We can handle overwhelming situations; we just need to increase the capacity of our hearts.
The task felt impossible at first. I arrived ragged and numb with a cauldron of grief, rage, and a profound sense of powerlessness after the recent atrocities in Buffalo and Uvalde (and so many other places). The message, or Tonglen Attitude as Pema described, is simple: we can handle overwhelming situations; we just need to increase the capacity of our hearts.
Tonglen gives you something to DO when you’re feeling overwhelmed by challenging emotions, pain and suffering – either your own or someone else’s. It’s an alternative to escaping, numbing out, raging out and despairing. It can have a relaxation effect that is clarifying and invigorating,
We’re going to practice together in community in the coming weeks and you can try it here:
- Sit down comfortably and take a few rounds of breath.
- Take a moment to choose one person, event or suffering system to focus on. Start with something small.
- On an inhale breathe in their pain, as if you could suck it away, similarly to the way a parent might kiss away a child’s scraped knee.
- On an exhale breathe out anything you can think of that might help. Could be space, love and compassion, it could be a wish they find what they needed, that sort of thing.
- Continue for a couple of minutes
- Return to a natural breath and take look around the room before returning to whatever you are doing
There are as many ways to help as there are humans on earth. Everyone has their own specific nervous system, set of circumstances and responsibilities. Maybe you give, maybe you march, maybe you canvass, maybe you tend to who you are caring for (and this includes you). Whatever it is that you can do, you need to be ready to suit up and show up with a huge, huge heart.
In love,
Lisa
